Pregnancy - Week 9

Dear baby,
This week has been an interesting one. I've been thinking about your health and well being a lot. I think I am going to have an amnio (It's a test where they take the fluid from the sack that you're in to see what your chromosomes look like) Baby, I know we'll be okay, and I know that you're just fine, but I have to feel 100% certain. It will remove a few tablespoons of your fluid, but you will recreate it just like that! It's been a hard decision, because I don't want to do anything that could harm you, but I need to know that you're in good health. For mine and daddy's sake and peace of mind.

Today, you've been especially active. I've been feeling all sorts of little pains and things. At lunch I had some yogurt and I don't know if you liked it a bunch or what, cause you were making things feel strange like moving. So I put my hand up against the place where I felt it, and you did it again, against my hand! You're a very active little one. You're about the size of an olive this week, and you're fingers, eyes, shoulders, and limbs are formed. You're still growing, but in just a few short weeks you'll be 100% formed, and will just start putting on weight. My boobs hurts a little too, sometimes they alternate, but the pain is there. They're getting ready to feed you I think. Trust me, baby you will NOT go hungry. :)

Nonna and Nonno left for a cruise yesterday. They are on a ship with Zia Nunziella, Uncle Peter, Jim, Lucy, Stella and Alberto. All of whom you will meet I'm sure shortly after your birth. They are all so excited about you. I'm glad they're having a good time. Their cruise ship left San Francisco and is going to stop in Alaska and Canada. It sounds like a really lovely time, I hope Nonno takes a lot of pictures. Your daddy and I really like the warm tropical weather. Maybe someday we'll take you to Hawaii. He grew up there. I love it there baby, if I had the chance I'd move there. But we don't want to be too far from our family and loved ones. And I don't want to take you away from them either.

You know baby, I'm amazed everyday at all the wonderful things you're allowing me to feel and experience. It's a beautiful reminder of my own humanity, and the blessings of God. Its been an honor to be able to carry you with me.

I love you.
Your mommy

Pregnancy - Week 8 Update

Dear Baby,
Daddy and I got to see you on ultrasound today! Oh my goodness baby you've grown so much since two weeks ago!!! I can see your little head, and your body, and your heartbeat! Your heart was beating 164 beats per minute! So fast! Honey, when I look at your pictures, I feel so happy. I can't explain it, its like my heart opens up and there's a flood of emotion that pours out. And it's all because of you. I can't even begin to imagine how happy you're going to make us. I can't wait to feel you in my arms and see your beautiful little face staring back at me.

Baby, every time I get the opportunity to see you, I really truly see what a little miracle and blessing you are in my life. You have given me so much to get excited about. I love your daddy so much. I thought about this on my way home from the hospital today. I love him so so much, that its an honor to carry about a little part of him (you) inside me. I love how his face softens when he see's your image. I love how he loves Christian more than life, because baby he's going to be the same way for you. He already loves you and you're not even here yet! We fell asleep the other night, and his hand lay resting on my tummy so he could be near you. Baby it was so beautiful that it made me want to cry. You're so very wanted, and loved.

I love you.
Your mommy

Pregnancy - Week 8

Dear Baby,
Today I am a little over 8 weeks pregnant with you. I have been working from home, and baby it's been divine. I get to spend a lot more time with Daddy and Christian. I've been hunting around for furniture for your nursery too. I'm so excited for your arrival! Tomorrow we have another ultrasound to see how you're doing. I'm really excited about it, maybe even a little bit scared. I know you're going to be okay. We have two appointments actually, Daddy will come to the first one and I think Nonna is coming to the second one. I'm not sure yet.
Its' been raining this week, which is a little unusual for May. Sometimes the rain makes me a little sad, because I really want to see sunshine. Baby you're going to love living here. California has the nicest weather. Its very moderate but still crisp enough to feel the change of the seasons. I keep wondering if you're going to make your appearance early or late. If you're early, you'll be born sometime after Christmas. This year, we're going to spend it near home just in case you do. I want to be close to the hospital. Most of the time we spend it with your Auntie Tonia. You will love her baby, she's such a good person. She will love you too. She and your Nonna (both of them) have dreamed about you. Your Zia Nunziella has dreamed about you too. She's Nonna's sister.
I really want you to learn Italian baby. I want you to be able to speak it well, and be able to use it to your advantage. I'm sure Nonna is going to speak to you in Italian quite a bit. Also you'll be able to go to England to spend time with your Zia Rosie too! Baby you have family all over the globe!
Physically this week, you've been quiet. I think its still too soon to feel you, right now I just feel minor cramping here and there, and strangely I see stars when I get up too fast. I eat, and sleep and work a lot. I'm a little nervous to exercise too hard because I don't want to hurt you. I've been told that in a few weeks I'm going to start feeling a lot better. Lately these days, I've been feeling like throwing up a lot. I've only thrown up once so far, but feel sick for almost the whole day on most days. I'm pretty tired too. I can fall asleep instantly!
I've been looking at clothes for you. I'm itching to go shopping. But we still don't know if you're a boy or a girl, so it would be a little silly to buy you anything yet. The stores really carry a lot of pink and blue stuff. But blue is my favorite color, so even if you're a girl you'll probably have blue things anyway. And daddy is going to make sure that eventually you will be enrolled in jujitsu. He wants to make sure that you can defend yourself. I think this is a great idea. Either way, boy or girl you will always know how to protect yourself, if we can't. But my promise, as always is to do whatever is humanly possible to make sure that you're well taken care of, protected, and loved at all times.

I can't wait to meet you!

I love you.
Your mommy

Pregnancy - Week 7

Dear Baby,
I am now 7 weeks pregnant with you. My moods are starting to change as I am now starting to feel the full throttle of the hormonal shift. It has been a little difficult. I find that my moods change really fast, and I can't really eat. I'm very nauseated. I am really tired these days. Some days its hard to even keep my eyes open.
After seeing your little heartbeat on the ultrasound last week, it really made you real to me. I actually saw it pulsating. That was the most amazing thing. Its strange to think that just a few months ago, after a routine visit with my doctor, my uterus was completely empty! God is truly amazing baby. Never forget that. I had lost so much hope in the process of trying to conceive you that I felt like my time with you would never come. But here it is! Everyday is a new adventure, carrying you inside me. I sometimes wonder what I'm going to feel next. You really really don't like sweet food, or foods that have too much flavor. I've learned to love very plain things like rice cakes, plain fruit, I LOVE apples, and bananas.
Nonna and Nonno saw your ultrasound picture, which sits nicely in a frame next to our bed. Their eyes softened up and they got so excited. Daddy's eyes smile when he see's your picture. My heart just fills with love baby. You have a way of doing that to me. I can be having a really bad day, or feel like crying (for no reason) and just thinking of you brings light to my heart.
I wonder what you will be! The wait is so hard! We have 11 more weeks until we can find out if you're a girl or a boy. I don't care. You'll be so sweet, you'll be ours.

I love you.

your mommy

Pregnancy - Week 6 and 3 days

Dear baby,
Yesterday we got to hear your heartbeat and see you in an ultrasound. It was the most amazing thing ever. You're so tiny! But the sack your in is nice and big, I think you're comfy. Your little heart was beating 122 beats / minute. Baby you sounded like a little hummingbird. I was so nervous about going to this doctor's appointment. I was scared they were going to say "what baby? you're not pregnant!" I didn't even get a chance to cry, I was more worried about you than anything. I think my blood pressure sky-rocketed because my face felt so hot. Your daddy was there with me. He's been sick lately so he wasn't feeling well. He was happy to see you too. Every time we look at your ultrasound picture we smile. It's hard not to smile when we think of you.

This morning baby, I think I had a vision of you. I don't know if you're a boy or a girl yet, but in my vision you were a cute little girl with almond shaped green eyes, wavy brown hair, and light skin like mine. You were maybe about 2 years old. You were just smiling at me. It's the first vision I've had since I've been pregnant with you. I'm not sure if God has decided what your sex will be, but it was an amazing experience regardless.

You've been on my mind all night baby. Yesterday, after our ultrasound, I had my blood sugars tested, and they seemed fine. Later that night I went swimming for an hour. I love swimming because its so peaceful and beautiful. Blue is my favorite color and seeing all of it with such tranquility is a treat for me. I was just talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she was saying how all of our senses are so heightened when we're pregnant, and it's true! Baby, I could literally smell the dried grass along the side of the freeway the other day while I was driving in my car. I have superman senses right now. I love it. Colors look so much more vibrant than I remember them. I wonder if its because this is how you'll see the world pretty soon. I don't know.

I love you baby.

your mommy.

Pregnancy - Week 6

Dear Baby,
This week, I'm 6 weeks pregnant with you. Today is Tuesday, on Thursday, your Daddy and I will get to see you in an ultrasound! I think we might be able to see your heart beating. I can't wait baby! I'm so excited! This week, your facial features and bone structure are starting to form. You have little buds where your hands and feet will be, and a little dimples where your nose and eyes will be. I know you're going to be precious no matter what you look like. If you're a boy, I hope you look like your Daddy. He's very handsome baby, so is your brother. They are two of the most handsome guys I know. I have no doubt you will join ranks with them. If you're a girl, well, maybe I'm vain, but I kind of hope you look somewhat like me :) No matter who you take after, you will be beautiful. You already are, because just by carrying you means I carry a little piece of God inside me.
This week I've been experiencing morning sickness. I haven't actually thrown up, but your presence is definitely known to my body. I can't seem to digest food very easily. You seem to really like Italian food, and Japanese food. Which really doesn't surprise me. You seem to hate broccoli. Watermelon is a plus for both of us. So far, you really like fruit and really plain food. Which is fine with me, as long as you're getting enough nutrients from me.
I've been keeping busy with work, taking care of your Daddy, brother and dog, and keeping active. I love swimming, lifting weights, walking, and yoga. I have a distinct feeling you like them too, because my body feels really at peace when I do any of these things. Except work, it can be a little stressful sometimes. But for the most part, I love what I do, so I think that on that level I'm blessed. I'm an artist baby. I'm a designer and I think of all the wonderful things I'll design for you quite often. I've already started planning out your nursery. I just have to slow down because I don't want to spend too much too soon.
I think of you all the time baby. I am not sure if you can actually hear me, but pretty soon, I think I'll start playing music for you to listen to. Beautifully, peaceful music, that will make you feel good.

Love you.

Your mommy

Pregnancy - Week 5

Dear Baby,
Tomorrow I will be exactly 5 weeks pregnant with you. This week, your heart and your circulatory system are starting to form. You are about the size of an orange seed, with a little tail. You have a neural tube, which will eventually become your spinal cord, and your brain.
Baby, sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I think, "ahh, another day." and I just go about my way. But before I do, I remember that I'm pregnant with you and I get so happy! I'm filled with so much joy just thinking about you. Your daddy and I are really excited and a little nervous. Daddy I think is going to melt when he meets you. Your brother Christian, is convinced you're a boy. I'm honestly not quite sure what you are, sometimes, I have a feeling you're a girl, but most of the time I'm not at all sure. I'm going to love you no matter what you are. You know why? Because God has given you to us as a gift. And I promise I will always cherish you and keep you close to my heart. I will always protect you no matter what.
This week, I'm starting to experience morning sickness, and I'm finding that you don't really like it when I eat sweets. You seem to favor protein like chicken, red meet, yogurt, and nuts. Sometimes, fruit. I used to love chocolate and this week, I really can't even stand to smell it. Speaking of smell, my sense of smell has become super strong! I feel like Buster, I can smell something from really far away and usually my nose doesn't like it. I hosted a baby shower yesterday. My good friend Shelly is going to have a baby girl named Natasha. You will definitely meet her someday. I've been getting cramps too lately, I think its just you making space inside of me for your growth. As long as you're okay and healthy, I am happy.

I love you baby, and thank you for coming into our lives.

Your mommy.