Crazy November, and other inward moments.

This year, this November, to be more specific has brought so many wonderful memories. I successfully pulled off a surprise 40th birthday party for hubby with all of his friends and family. I think it was probably the nuttiest I've felt in years. Just the week before the party our house was flooded upstairs. We're still in the process of having our carpets replaced, and the holes in the ceiling downstairs patched up. So, I hosted the event at a hotel not far from our home. In the end it better suited our needs. I did end up cooking for about 30+ people. I can honestly say I've never cooked so much in my life. With my mom's help, we pulled it off. I haven't run around like that since our wedding. But the way I see it, is how many times do you really turn 40? Hubby was sooooo surprised. The look on his face was priceless. Then a week lapsed and I got pretty sick. I'm on the up and up now, but we did squeeze in a trip to Vegas. It wasn't all that I wanted it to be because I was sick, but we had a nice time. We saw Joe Rogan do standup on Friday, and then Saturday we went to UFC 106 - saw Forrest Griffin and Tito Ortiz fight. It was a great match. After that we flew home, not too long before we got the call from my step-son informing us that he's broken his ankle! Poor kid, as luck would have it, it happened when we were about 400 miles away. Hubby did well under the pressure. It really is a nightmare for any parent to be that far away, but he handled it like a champ. Thank God for brother in laws! Little guy is doing better just trying to adapt to hobbling around on one foot. He got a cast yesterday and is using crutches. Which by the way I keep finding laying around the house, I almost ate it this morning in the dark! I think they bother his armpits cause he doesn't seem to like using them that much. I feel badly for him being in his freshman year of high school. I think he's afraid to be picked on. The worst part is him not being able to ride his BMX bike for a while. That feels like punishment in its own right.

Thanksgiving is in two days. I'm really looking forward to spending some quality time with my family. I love to cook, so that's a given. I will need to shop for that tonight, and try to get some pre-cooking out of the way. Design work is moving along smoothly. I've been really blessed this year with consistent clients, needy of my time, but consistent nonetheless. Sometimes, I wonder how I'm going to feel about this line of work when we do have a baby. Or when, I'm super duper pregnant? How will I cope with this sort of stress? Lately I've been walking everyday. I've also rejoined Weight Watchers in attempts of dropping a few pounds. I don't expect to be back to my old weight when I get pregnant, but it's a nice goal to have. That way if I do gain 20lbs or so, I won't feel so much like a whale, and maybe more like a little baby whale instead :D

One thing, I've come to realize that I'm grateful for, is the job I come to 40 hours per week. This year has been good to me financially. With so many people out of work, and still being laid off, I've been consistently pulling in regular work with (company name omitted) even though I'm a contractor, they keep me busy most of the time. My coworker was let go, so I have more responsibility than I bargained for, but at least I still have work! And work that I love. I actually get paid to draw. I can hardly believe it myself sometimes. Just this week, I sketched out a picture of Santa being pulled on his sleigh by his 9 reindeer. Sometimes, I think "what sort of funny little drawings will I create in order to keep the little one happy?" My mom used to draw Mickey Mouse for me. That's where it all started. After that, she put a pencil in my hand and I never looked back. What will our little future soul aspire to be?

Sometimes, I think about people that aspire to be actors and actresses, or scientists, or whatever. I do sometimes wish my line of work was more glamorous or brought in ridiculous amounts of money, but to look at my designs, sometimes on the walls, or in newspapers, or at large conventions, and it's just such a gratifying feeling. To know that I created these images, and people are using them to communicate! There you go, that's my contribution to humanity. The gift of communication :)

I'm grateful that I've had the opportunity to explore this aspect of myself. I'm grateful to know what stirrs up so much emotion in myself. I've been helping people communicate for a while, just more seriously for the past few years. I'm ready to devle inwards. Baby will bring this I'm sure. I'm ready to see how a new little life will mold me, and force me to change. For the first time in my life, I can confidently say that I'm ready for change. I welcome it. I'm not scared of it and I think it could teach me even more about myself and those around me. I'm excited about my future.