Pregnancy - Week 14

Dear Baby,
I'm not feeling so hot today. I woke up a lot last night with stretching pains all around my tummy. I doubt that Daddy got a good night's sleep because I was so wrestless. I kept looking down at the floor near my side of the bed thinking that's where I'd want to put a basinette for you to lay in. I had this picture in my mind of having my hand in it just to touch you.

Our amnio appointment is coming up baby, I am nervous for us. But I want you to know that it's going to be okay. Just please be still while the doctor does what he/she needs to do, and I promise I will take it easy after that. In fact I will be working from home for the rest of that week just so I can lay in bed and make sure that we recover peacefully. I need your fluids to be replenished during that time. I've been reading that talking to you will put you at ease. I don't even think that's necessary because I think you can feel my thoughts. I know you feel what I feel right now, so I am doing my best to feel wonderful. For both of us.

Zia Rosie and Barnaby left yesterday. Me, Nonna and Nonno are really sad. Its always really strange when they go, cause it's like really she never left CA. We used to live together when she lived here, I really miss those times. But now that she's in another country, baby I miss her so much. Love works in such mysterious ways. Barnaby is a sweetheart, I kept trying to tell him about you but I think being 4 years old it was a tough concept for his little mind to grasp. He loves Christian and Daddy so much. He was Christian's little shadow when he was here. You will love him too baby, he's a sweet little boy.

I am at work right now so I can't type much. I'm having a hard time focusing and staying on track. I keep thinking about you. Its so funny baby, right now you're about the size of my fist inside of me, and my thoughts are so preoccupied by what is best for you. I hope I don't leave Daddy or Christian out. I love them so much, they know that I love them, but sometimes I wonder if I show them that enough. Last night, I laid down on the floor of our bedroom with Buster our dog. He's such a sweet animal. He has so much love in his eyes baby. He's like my doggy baby, he even snorts and rubs his eyes like a little baby. It's really cute, but sometimes I wonder if its just cute to me because I love him so much?

Anyway baby I'm kind of moody today and still in a bit of pain. People keep telling me that this is only the beginning. I can only imagine what my body will feel like in a few months. I'm just super excited to begin feeling your little arms and legs move.

I love you baby.

Your mommy

Pregnancy - Week 13

Hello Baby,
I'm a little behind in my posts. As I'm almost 14 weeks right now. I'll post again a little later this week to catch up. I've been away from the computer because it's been 4th of July weekend! Last night we had a nice lunch with your uncle Johnathan, and his family and then watched the fireworks with the rest of our family (my mom, dad, and sister and little Barnaby) it was magical. I love the 4th of July.

This week, you've been growing, I can feel it. I can also feel your movements even though people tell me it's too soon. Sometimes, when I am just sitting around I can feel you move super fast like a fast little flutter. It really amazes me that you're so active! People keep telling me that you're going to be a girl, but lately baby, I've been feeling boy feelings. I really have no clue what your gender will be, but it really doesn't matter to me.

Last week, Daddy and I bought your crib. I think we bought the wrong one cause it doesn't covert the way we want it to. I'm not sure, I think we may just keep it, I don't know yet. Your room is still filled with office junk and desperately needs cleaning, we still have an old mattress in there that we need to get rid of.

The weather has been really nice these past few weeks. Nice and warm. Sometimes, we don't do too well in the heat. We seem to get a little agitated. I feel really bloated, and my head starts hurting, so it's best for me to stay in an air-conditioned environment.

I'm really kind of sad baby, this week, your Zia Rosie and cousin Barnaby are leaving to go home to England. They've been here for almost 10 days! I've gotten to see them a lot which makes me really happy. Tonight I am going to have dinner with them and Nonno and Nonna. The next time I will see them will be sometime in February, after you are born. Your uncle Matthew will come back with them to meet you.

The other night baby, I had the strangest feeling. I was watching TV with Daddy just dozing off, and then suddenly I had a vision of you at full term, all tucked away in my uterus. You were a pretty large baby and you were so squished. And then I woke up holding my tummy. Cause suddenly it hit me...I'm your mommy! You're going to rely on me for the rest of your life. Which I don't mind baby, but it's an adjustment for me. I've never really had anyone rely of me except for Daddy and Christian and even then, they're rather easy. But I will be your everything, for a very long time. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wasn't a little scared, more excited than scared. I just want to make sure that I do everything perfectly for you. We're going to be learning togehter baby, and I'm really looking forward to it. I just hope I don't screw anything up. Your life means the world to me. I think about you daily and wonder what you're going to look like, although sometimes, I think I have a faint idea. I know you will be beautiful to me no matter what. Big, small, girl, boy whatever. You're ours. Because God is trusting us with you. I hope that we can do a good enough job to provide you with everything that you need.

I love you baby, and can't wait to meet you!

Your mommy.