Welcome Baby Boy!

Dear son,
Well, you're one month old as of two days ago. I am sorry I waited this long to write. I have been trying really hard to take super good care of you. You arrived three weeks early. Your birthday is 12/17/10. Our labor was a long process, which I will save for another post. It's a story I don't want to ever forget, because it brought me to you.
For now, I just want to write about the little things that make you so unique and special. You're so incredibly adorable. I could've never have imagined this. You have a face that is shaped just like mine, with my nose and everything else like Daddy's. You have his dark soft hair, his Asian-like eyes, and his little dimpled chin. Honey the first time I laid eyes on you I knew I was in love. Right now you're sleeping in your bassinet next to my side of the bed. You will most likely wake up about three times tonight to eat. You're in there with a binki that is almost half the size of your cute little face. When you're hungry you have this funny little grunt and growl, and you whip your head back and forth like an angry little dog, then you go for the booby like a savage piranha. Often times you make me laugh because you have an aggressive little personality, but other times you're so chilled out and relaxed. You're extremely responsive to music, and you seem to be rather connected to my moods. When I get upset you seem to follow suit. It really puts things into perspective for me. I feel that I should guard my moods and shield you from them better.
I have been attending a postpartum group for therapy. Its been interesting, its made me realize that I'm far better off than some people, and sometimes I'm just as anxious and hormonal as the rest of them. Out of the group, its pretty clear that I'm making the most progress the fastest, it took me about two to three weeks to snap out of my hormonal haze after birthing you. I noticed that as long as you and I get the chance to go out each day and enjoy a little sunshine, we do so well. Otherwise, we both seem to get a little cranky.
You really love being outdoors, as soon as a little fresh air hits your face, you instantly fall asleep. The same goes for car rides, you fuss a little at first, and then you instantly conk out. I think it's the vibration of the car?
I'm trying to really remember and cherish each day with you, because each day that passes is one day that I'll never get back with you. Each day you make me smile and gleam with pride son, you're such an amazing little person. Even though you pretty much just eat, sleep, poop and pee, I can see how special you are.
People have wanted to come over and meet you, but my instincts have told me to guard you carefully. Maybe I've been a little "over protective" but I'm your mommy, that's what I do. I'm your protector, as is your daddy. We all love you so much son. I can see now that my life really needed you in it. You occupy my days, and sometimes I get tired and irritated, but that's just because I'm not getting a steady stream of sleep, and I'm tired a lot. But when I'm well rested all I can do is look at you and smell you. You have such a sweet smell, I almost think it's a biological need of mine to sit and smell you. Almost as if your smell is "imprinting" (daddy likes to call it this) to my memory. Your smell is changing a little but it's still so you. I love sleeping with you because I can put my ear next to your mouth and hear your fast little breaths. I know you're okay and you're doing great on your own, but a little extra reassurance does wonders for me.
See, I was already paranoid, and a rather nervous person before you came into our lives, now I'm ten times worse. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you son, no distance I wouldn't travel, no challenge I wouldn't take on, and nothing that will ever get in the way of our relationship. I know your daddy has really strong feelings for you too. You've changed us son, and for the better. We now have a bond so strong (you) that it surpasses almost everything. Now I understand his tendencies when it comes to your brother. I get it why children are the most important things in our lives that we must cherish, love and protect. See before you were born, there was this emptiness about me. I can see it clearly now. Not that I didn't know love, or passion, but I didn't know motherhood. I see your little body and your face now, and I sit back in awe, thinking with such wonder, that you came from my body. We created you and god gave us your beautiful little soul to look after. I'm filled now son. If there are other children in our future someday that would be wonderful, but if anything were to happen to me, and I died tomorrow I would be so content because we have you. You are my perfect little puzzle piece, and I love you.

God Bless you son.

I love you,
Your Mommy