Pregnancy - Week 37 Final Week

Dear Son,
Well, it looks like the time has come for you to be born. Tonight is the last night that we will share one body. I can honestly say that this makes me a little sad. You've been such a joy to me, and Daddy. Carrying you has been a privilege I will never forget. Sure my body has had a lot of crazy shortcomings, some that scared me many times over for your well-being, but it looks like we're out of the woods now. (As I write this, you're jerking around so strongly that you make my tummy move from one side to another really fast!)

Tonight Daddy and I created a belly cast of my huge tummy so I can always remember what you looked like inside of me. Its currently sitting in the tub you will someday use, drying. I plan to smooth it out and paint it, and possibly put it in a frame somewhere. The funny part is that I think it was cramping you a little because once we pulled the plaster off of me, you di this BIG spread eagle stretch, as if to say "Ahh, thank you!"

The belly cast is just such a beautiful symbol of fertility to me, that I don't want to forget this journey we've had. I've tried my best to document it all. Even though I've come up short in the last few weeks. I've been in and out of the hospital trying to lower my blood pressure and make sure that you're okay. My kidneys aren't doing too well son, and sometimes it really makes me sad, that I can't do this for 40 full weeks for you. But 37, is the best that I can do for now. Its one more week than both Daddy and I were in utero, so I think you will make it just fine. I know you're a thriving, vivacious child, I can feel it and see it in your movements, and your excitement just from feeling you in my tummy. You really seem to LOVE music. I've been playing it more and more often for you, so you can enjoy it with me you shake and shimmy all over the place when you hear music.

I've learned a lot about myself during this pregnancy. Somethings, I will consciously change after you are born.

I've learned the following:

-I don't know how to relax
-I have to learn to care for my body better
-I have to learn to give up control once in a while
-Life comes at you really fast
-I still have a long road to learning to let go
-It's okay to not answer the phone sometimes
-Sometimes I just need to spend time with "me" because I yearn for it once in a while
-I love your Daddy more than life itself, even if he drives me nuts sometimes
-I love your brother as if I personally gave birth to him
-I've gotten really good at finding the humor in things
-I actually enjoy laughing at myself, humility is a good thing.
-Work can't rule my life anymore
-I will move mountains for you
-There is NOTHING I wouldn't do for you son, you are now the most important part of my life

I've learned to become a lot more organized, its funny because you won't notice any of these things, but boy, I've taken "nesting" to a whole new level. I want things to be "PERFECT" for you when you come home. This is your home, with us, me, daddy, Christian and Buster. We will take care of you and never let anything happen to you, ever.
I hope tomorrow goes smoothly my darling, because I want it to be a really nice experience for us both, I want you to enter this world as God intended. We have a lot of people praying for us, and loving us, and are so super excited about you. All over the world. Even your Zia Rosie, and cousin Barnaby are holding their breath for you to come. But no one my darling, more than me and Daddy. We are ecstatic to meet you, to see you and feel you and to learn your personality, and your characteristics.

I look forward to a very full, and fulfilling life with you my darling boy.

I'm attaching the last photographs that were taken of you, at 35 weeks old. (in utero)

I love love love you baby, and CAN'T WAIT to meet you! Lets make this relatively quick tomorrow okay, I don't want to go through a lot of pain. :)

Your Mommy