Pregnancy - Week 18

Dear baby boy,
Everyday you give me something new to feel. This past week your movements have gotten stronger and a little more painful. You don't seem to like it when I sit still for too long. Also when I get emotional it seems to affect you directly. I never really knew what to make of that bond between parent and child and now I am actually feeling it for myself. Its like you know I am upset and you get upset too. The other day while I was on hold with the DMV for over 20 minutes I was getting noticeably irritated and you kicked me so hard that it made my eyes water. Honey you're the size of a sweet potato! What will I do when you're the size of a sack of flour? :)
Daddy and I are getting increasingly excited about your entrance into this world. I think he felt you last weekend, although it was a faint little push, we felt you doing something for sure. Your brother just turned 15. What a teenager! He didn't want a party, didn't want anything actually. Except for an airsoft gun. He's such a funny boy. It's all part of growing up I guess. I think it's just hard for Daddy and I to accept that he isn't a little boy anymore. Although he's not quite an adult yet either...
I miss nonna terribly this week. She's still in England with Zia Rosie. I called them when they were in Italy, I got to chat with all of our relatives there. They're so excited about my darling. I look at your pictures from the amnio everyday and I just sigh and stare at you. You're so beautiful to me and you're physically such a little thing! Your amnio results came back last week and just as I'd predicted you're 100% okay and perfectly normal. I thank God for your health and well being, because baby if anything was wrong, I don't know what I'd do.
You're still causing my hormones to get a little crazy. Yesterday I cried on the way to work for no reason at all. I hear a song that we all love called "sweet disposition" by Temper Trap. I thought about Daddy, Chrisitan and you. And strangely I thought about how I would feel when we had to drop you off at daycare or your first day of school. I'm not ready to think about these things. I want our precious time with you to last and last.
I'm finding it's just easier for me right now to not dwell on things that are hard for me to think about. Like giving birth to you for example. It scares the daylights out of me, and I hope I do a good job at it, but for now, the obsession of it is going on the back burner, as are thoughts of your cute little body bouncing off to school with children your own age.

I love you my sweet little baby boy.

Your Mommy