Pregnancy - Week 15 +

Dear Baby,
Tomorrow I get to see you again! I'm almost 16 weeks, I'll write another post when I am. But for today we're still just at 15 weeks. I saw you last week during an ultrasound, I was having problems breathing and I kept getting pains in my sides, and swollen feet. Turns out you're perfectly okay. But wow baby! You're big! I didn't expect you to be that big! You were really active too, moving your cute little arms and legs all over the place, and then you did this great big stretch, throwing your little head back. I think you're starting to get a little crammed in there.
Tomorrow is our amnio appointment. I'm really nervous baby, but I have to be calm for you. I know deep down in my heart that you're going to be okay. I just feel it. I know our results are going to come back perfectly fine and you will be a healthy, happy baby. The only thing I can't figure out yet, is if you're a girl or a boy...That part still puzzles me. I get boy feelings a lot these days, but early on dreamnt about girls. For some reason I always assumed I'd have a son before I had a daughter. But in a way, I do, I have Christian.
It's been hot these past few days. I went to the beach with my girlfriends on Saturday. We have this annual beach outing called L.O. Girls beach day. It marks the anniversary of the day we were all laid off from Duarte Design. That day we were so stunned and so lost. This past Saturday, (marked the third annual L.O. Girls Beach day) and it was pleasant. We had interesting conversations and really just enjoyed each other's company. My friends Lisa and Denise were there. They can't wait to meet you baby. Then on Sunday, Daddy, Christian and I went to Los Gatos and had breakfast and then went to Powells candy shop. That's one of our favorite things to do. You're brother was being a typical teenager, and I think we were all just hot and a little tense. But overall, it was a nice day. I wonder sometimes how those days are going to change when you are born. I think about how you're going to fit into our family. You will be loved and cherished no matter what, but it will be interesting to see the evolution of our little family. It's been just me Daddy and Christian for many years baby, about 8. It may take some adjusting. I just wish you'd had a chance to grow up with your brother, he's going to be 15 years older than you. He will love you, I'm sure of it, but I know that he's spent a lot of his childhood waiting to meet you. You're going to be a big deal for all of us.
Nonna is going to England and then to Italy. She leaves on Wednesday. She's going to visit her cousin, baby. It's going to be a difficult trip for her I think. Maria is one of her dearest cousins and she doesn't have a lot of time left to live on this earth with us. I pray for her that God welcomes her gently. This will be the second loss of a close friend / family relative for me this year. It's been challenging, but I'm starting to see that I am much more strong than I ever thought I was. I never thought I could cope with loss, but I can. I also have learned how good I am getting at coping with gain! We've gained you my precious little one. Hopefully tomorrow you will reveal to us if you're a boy or a girl, I can't wait to start getting you things!!!

I love you,
your Mommy