Pregnancy - Week 10

Dear Baby,
this week, I'm just over 10 weeks pregnant with you. I can't say that it has been super easy so far because pregnancy has been a little challenging. Not to say that I don't love having you with me at all times, but growing you has been a learning experience for me.

Before we conceived you baby, we found out that I had this thing called "Hashimoto's disease." It's an auto immune disease, where my body creates antibodies that attack itself. (more particularly my thyroid) When the doctor discovered this problem, she immediately put me on medication which helped so much. That was just a few months before I became pregnant. But since then, my medication has been a moving target. Getting pregnant with you made my thryoid function a little wonky so they had to increase the medication. So far you and I both seem to be okay with it all. There are days that are more difficult than others. What normal women seem to go through in terms of hormonal challenges seem to be an uphill battle for me. I feel like I did before we conceived you. I feel really emotional, I cry very easily, and I get angry even easier. I don't like feeling this way baby. I'm grumpy a lot of the time, and have been having a hard time feeling like my happy self, even though God's given us the most incredible gift to be happy about! I even cry at watching commercials! Lately these days, I feel really lonely. I really want these mood swings to stop because I'm making myself and everyone around me miserable. My only prayer is that you don't feel any of this baby. I don't want you feel what I've been feeling, although I hear its inevitable. Sometimes, I think you do because you cause little pains here and there when I'm feeling my worst. It's like you're saying "Mom, just relax."

I have been working from home for the past several weeks, and tomorrow I go back to work. I'm okay with this. I think I've been feeling a little too isolated. I miss seeing people around me. Although I don't know what I'm going to do when I get really tired in the afternoon, when I can hardly keep my eyes open! When we get closer to your due date baby (around Christmas / New Years Eve) I'll be with our whole family and that's what matters to me the most baby. You, your daddy, your brother, you aunties, my parents, my sister, daddy's family, all of them. I sometimes wonder if you'll arrive early. You will get to meet some of my closest friends visiting for the holidays! But you just take your time baby, you come when you're good and ready. I'll be waiting here.

Oh I almost forgot to mention! I've started creating a quilt for you with little baby sheep and bright yellow flowers on it. I think you're going to like it. Your nursery is going to be yellow. Daddy and I have been looking at cribs, changing tables and rocking chairs for your room. I want it to be perfect for when you arrive. I want you to fit right in, even though I'm sure you'll be sleeping with us for a while. :)

I love you baby, and even though I've been feeling really crummy this week, you're worth every effort and more.

Love,
Your mommy